Comments on: Reprieve http://juvifish.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/reprieve/ here is where i can talk without eveyone contradicting me :) Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:21:57 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: juvifish http://juvifish.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/reprieve/#comment-13 juvifish Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:29:05 +0000 http://juvifish.wordpress.com/?p=201#comment-13 Much appreciated critique. :) I am a self-centered brat thus the overuse of "my" "I" and "me". hahaha. Thanks for dropping by. I enjoyed reading your page too and will read some more as soon as the much needed weekend comes. :) Much appreciated critique. :)

I am a self-centered brat thus the overuse of “my” “I” and “me”. hahaha.

Thanks for dropping by. I enjoyed reading your page too and will read some more as soon as the much needed weekend comes. :)

]]> By: Dan Silverman http://juvifish.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/reprieve/#comment-12 Dan Silverman Tue, 02 Sep 2008 04:23:10 +0000 http://juvifish.wordpress.com/?p=201#comment-12 I read several of you poems and I like this one the best. It's simple, about a common scene in nature, yet it paints a vivid picture in my mind. Every line is equally expressed without you being trite or insincere. My only critique is the overuse of the word "my" towards the end of your work. A breaking of my soul upon the twilight of my darkest hour enters my dream and i wonder… Great work and I look forward to more Dan I read several of you poems and I like this one the best. It’s simple, about a common scene in nature, yet it paints a vivid picture in my mind. Every line is equally expressed without you being trite or insincere. My only critique is the overuse of the word “my” towards the end of your work.

A breaking of my soul upon
the twilight of my darkest hour
enters my dream and i wonder…

Great work and I look forward to more

Dan

]]>