I have been angry and hurt for 2 days now. I’ve had conversations and conversations where I let all my feelings and angst go but it was never better, it just frustrated me more.
Being me, I played every possible scenario in my head from vengeful to apathetic to even being apologetic. I went through each memory, through each conversation, seeing it from emotional to objective, from my perspective, their perspective, 3rd parties’ perspective. Nothing seems to fit it right!!! But if EQ training taught me one thing , it’s about sleeping on it and letting ideas hatch.
While I was letting the ideas come to me, today’s experience (which was such a great and happy one) lead me to reflect on when times in my life I was happiest. That lead me to think of what my emotions are when I’m happiest. That lead me to some answers.
I am happiest in stillness.
It can happen in a room full of people
or in a room with no one.
It can happen with people who genuinely love me
and with those who hate me with such force.
I am happiest when I am not angry,
when I do not hate,
when I understand,
when I forgive,
when I let go,
when I decide to be better.
My whole life, my weakness was always my temper. I can be quick to anger but it was always a contradiction that I can also quickly admit my mistake and had never got to change why I forgive easily (even when I kept on saying I will not be friends be a person anymore). I realized that when I forgive and forget (or even just try to forgive), I heal myself in the process.
People will think differently. They will doubt — some will force their opinions, others will talk. They will put names — foul, hypocrite, evil. People will get angrier because they expect conflict and it will not be there. I will say my prayer and another.
Days are short, love is wonderful — and it’s our choice if our life will be great!
Awesome Sunday everyone! ❤ ❤