Faith that transcends gender


It’s rare that I get to have meaningful conversations that do not involve work when at the office but today, I was lucky enough to have some downtime with very interesting people.

A friend shared with us that he had prayed to God to give him a sign if being gay is really a sin. So what will happen if he finds out that it is, we asked. And this is where we hit an impasse. I can barely imagine how hard it must be to think and worry every day that being true to yourself is also the same reason that can separate you from God.

The earlier conversation will probably stay with me as I find my own faith. You see, while I have always strongly believed in God and prayer, I have always been more a social reformist than a religious practitioner. The battle inside myself is about reconciling the loving God that wants the best for his children and the laws of his church. Faith, they say, is a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. My faith believes in a God that has no prejudice and one that allowed things to happen because he has a grand plan for everything.

I shared what I had seen on TV last night about a church that was run and made up of LGBT folks. Amongst the stories was about a gay who wanted to become a priest but couldn’t because the whole neighbourhood knew that he was gay since childhood, he was depressed until someone told him about the church. There was also an interview with one of their priests who highlighted the dilemma that as the Catholic Church continues to not accept LGBTs, this would lead to more and more LGBTs losing their faith.

Thanks to Google, I found out that what was featured is the Metropolitan Community Church Philippines. On their website, they said “…is a church where Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgenders are accepted and loved. This is the church where you can be who and what you are without pretending to be who you are not just to please people. God is already pleased with those who accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior….” I believe God works in mysterious ways perhaps, I was meant to share what I had watched at the same moment that a friend is asking for a sign. Perhaps, you’re on your own spiritual journey and what I shared here might help you.

Perhaps, one day, we will all find enlightenment.

Photo credited to Martin Marcinski (http://www.flickr.com/photos/marcinski/)

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things have not gone my way…


WHEN YOU HAVE LOST YOUR TEMPER

O God, I know my temper is far too quick.

I know only too well how liable I am to flare up,

and to say things for which afterwards I am sorry.

O God, help me. Help me to think before I speak.

When I feel I am going to blast out,

help me to keep quiet for just a moment or two,

until I get a grip on myself again.

Help me to take myself and others less seriously so that I don’t reach the point of being angry at all.

Help me to keep perspective and to let go of my anger.

Amen.

the eternal struggle about work


The office is very sleepy tonight. Perhaps it’s because the entire sales team (2 people) are out tonight and we lost one editor, there’s barely anyone in the office. 7 not so warm bodies in an office with 19 desks equals one very slow day.

H: oh yeah
ako din
grabe!!!!
i’m so tamad na talaga to go to work
Me: parang slow day dahil wala gaano tao
super
H: and it’s starting to feel not worth it na

On a slow day, it’s not something you want to hear from a colleague. Stop! Do not pull me in to the blackhole of not liking work... What makes this harder is that everyone has one leg in that blackhole, one just needs a little push to succumb. Bless my stubbborness, I often argue for just the sake of argument.

Me: there’s still the sweldo
H: in your case.. mejo ok pa
sakin parang hindi na
Me: bakit?
H: i need to love myself
and my kids
they need to be with me more
and i need to be a nicer person to my family and working makes me a monster at home
Me: you need to learn to adjust with work
hindi quit
there’s away to work this…
there’s like a million working moms
they can’t all be doing something wrong
my mom worked and she had time for us
H: but she didn’t become like a monster like me
i’m a monster na daw
coz i’m huge and i don’t have much patience
Me: she did a couple of times din naman
pero she had to do it to send us to school and buy us great things
not 100% happy mom
around 75% happy mom
which was good enough
saka di ba? you are doing this for yourself?
H: after a few hours of work and you lose your perspective on why you want to work… parang ang hirap to always remind myself of my reasons for actually doing this
hay life

Pretty good for a devil’s advocate, heh? Too bad I don’t feel what I’ve been preaching. Tomorrow is another struggle.